I’ve met people who believed they loved me. I believed them too, I won’t lie. I did love them in my way. But most of it turned out to be quick and cheap fixes to whatever it is I sought. I’ve always sought for deep in everything and for a minute you were IT. I know my tone here betrays the disappointment I’m trying to hide, read on anyway.
I knew from the very start, you were different. I’ve been blessed to experience you. I know without a doubt that you are the prayer that will never be answered how we’d have loved for it to. But I’m okay, and I hope you are too. Until then, until I can actually take you out, or when the roses I send you mean we can actually be more, until you realize the sun rises and sets in your eyes for me, you’ll be that one prayer I’ll safely tuck away and guard jealously with all my heart.
I prepared to write you three paragraphs today. You know, today being the third day of the month and all. Just now though, writing you letters hurts more than I’d originally imagined. So I’ll find myself friends to write and swap love letters with in preparation for that fourteenth day we had been dreaming about all the while. And on that day, in my loneliness, I’ll drink to us and hope against hope that the person I’ll meet next will be better than the promise of you.
Until then, I remain yours truly
Josh O. Agaba
“Unsaid words leave scars” ~ Unknown