Beautiful 

​Beautiful,

It’s 3 O’clock in the morning and I can’t help but linger longer all over the need that I have for you. This loud and ferocious roar of my heart, every time I miss you, always reminds me of the unforgiving and delicious scent of your lips on mine.

I’m afraid to dream because I don’t know whether I’ll see your large smile beside me when I wake, or if I do, I’m afraid and I worry that it could be the worst hullucination ever.

So, I wear your smile and arm myself with the reflection of it like a garter in my dreams lest I be damned to wake up to the absence of your sweet whispers.

Every night is a tad darker now that you’re gone and not here, there’s nothing in this room that played with the light so well like your eyes. Every thing else is blunt. Always reflecting bits of your sunshine and warming me down deep in my soul.

Most nights I hear you say, “I feel alright” just to wake up to the boring swish of the fan. Never did I think I’d miss your soft snores so bad.

The water runs and all I can think about is how your giggles always perfectly bounced off the marble, leaving me woke in all the right places.

Is it just me or does the splash of the water sound so beautiful and heavenly when you’re in the shower? 

I had better not lose my mind until I get that old feeling I always got when you walked through that door and straight into my waiting arms. Wake me up from this bad dream and remind me of what it means to love dangerously. 

Yours truly,

J

Autumn Leaves

Life is a long story
Told of and to unsuspecting audiences
I got a house last night
Littered with promise
I navigated my tomorrows
Got notifications
Of intentions unsuspected
An accord of friends
Slowly turned to less
Yes, Autumn leaves

The Crack of dawn
Is never promised
The overbearing
Crackling of the sun
Already forgotten
To not wander back in, yet.

Gifts of heart
Promised
Tenderly offered
Gently I cherished
Abhorrently
Mine landed on a rug
Every word spoken
Stunk worse than the last
Autumn left a day at a time

Zeal to live extirpated
That oh rugged rug
The stench of it
Subtle and gentle enough
To have held and consumed my heart
Turned it out into unrecognizable shades of hate
To love again or never to
Promise to or to destroy all
The crossroads crossed me
Closed me in with no air to breathe

In my last seconds
In this, the arena of love
I breathed my last
Life smiled crookedly
Dirty smirks and no humor
Perky red shot eyes
Wrinkled brows
Dirty teeth
Proud of it all

“Josh, Autumn Leaves”

Stunk more than it stung.

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