It’s 3 O’clock in the morning and I can’t help but linger longer all over the need that I have for you. This loud and ferocious roar of my heart, every time I miss you, always reminds me of the unforgiving and delicious scent of your lips on mine.
I’m afraid to dream because I don’t know whether I’ll see your large smile beside me when I wake, or if I do, I’m afraid and I worry that it could be the worst hullucination ever.
So, I wear your smile and arm myself with the reflection of it like a garter in my dreams lest I be damned to wake up to the absence of your sweet whispers.
Every night is a tad darker now that you’re gone and not here, there’s nothing in this room that played with the light so well like your eyes. Every thing else is blunt. Always reflecting bits of your sunshine and warming me down deep in my soul.
Most nights I hear you say, “I feel alright” just to wake up to the boring swish of the fan. Never did I think I’d miss your soft snores so bad.
The water runs and all I can think about is how your giggles always perfectly bounced off the marble, leaving me woke in all the right places.
Is it just me or does the splash of the water sound so beautiful and heavenly when you’re in the shower?
I had better not lose my mind until I get that old feeling I always got when you walked through that door and straight into my waiting arms. Wake me up from this bad dream and remind me of what it means to love dangerously.
How are you doing this very beautiful day? The sun is quite soothingly if not scaldingly hot. But who cares? Well, we are a few hours away from our grand birthday and I can’t wait to keep my hands all over you. That’s quite the thought!
Enter in, Meghan Trainor. I know how much her voice drives you awesomely crazy. Have you heard her new song with Charlie Puth? You should, or better yet we’ll sing it together. All night, tonight.
“Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on. You got the healing that I want. And just like they say it in the song, until dawn, let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on.”
I have my guitar strapped on tight. We’ll sing all your favourite songs. I can’t wait to sing to you in the shower about how I’ll love you like I’m gonna lose you. We’re not promised tomorrow. I’ll wait for you to make me scream mercy mercy, All night and bits more of tomorrow.
There’s that thing in your eyes that pulls me closer. I know I’m in trouble but I’d rather be in trouble with you. All candles have been lit. Babe, from this day on, you’ll never be alone.
Nirvana is where this frail body finds itself every time it gets wrapped up in the soft and enduring warm embrace of you.
You know, I’m a superman thanks to you, you kissed away my problems when I went insane. I’m getting drunk off listening to this song as I scroll through all our selfies.
Come on, let’s dance in the rain. Give not a care, we’ll have each other to shiver against. Snuggle into me, let the waves of this reggae ballad ride off into the sunset with the wind. Let me ride this out with you till the sky turns gray.
I will be there when you need someone to run with
I will be there when you need someone to dance with
I’m your lover till the sky turn gray girl
Cause you’re beautiful baby
I’ve had a really (already) long day and nothing is as fulfilling as the surge of adrenaline I feel right now as I write this, memories of us re-Gene-rating my already fading enthusiasm for the day.
I didn’t write to tell you about how UMEME almost spoiled my day, I want to tell you now about how I poem my words around you sometimes. I sing notes in every song as I try to wrap the melody around the intoxication of you.
I love how you stare at me every time words fail you, searching for the right words to say and almost instantly, scrolls start unfolding in your eyes as they spill all the desires of your heart with every single breath you take. I watch your heaving chest as you labor on and I can’t seem to keep myself from smiling all too hard. Oh, how my blood boils in anticipation for the moment you’ll pounce and devour me like your prey.
Tonight I’ll install each and every byte of your loveliness in my heart. You are the sedation I’d ever need. Keep me in a trance and trap me in your vast heart. Tie me down and I’ll never leave.
Forever and Always
I’ve met people who believed they loved me. I believed them too, I won’t lie. I did love them in my way. But most of it turned out to be quick and cheap fixes to whatever it is I sought. I’ve always sought for deep in everything and for a minute you were IT. I know my tone here betrays the disappointment I’m trying to hide, read on anyway.
I knew from the very start, you were different. I’ve been blessed to experience you. I know without a doubt that you are the prayer that will never be answered how we’d have loved for it to. But I’m okay, and I hope you are too. Until then, until I can actually take you out, or when the roses I send you mean we can actually be more, until you realize the sun rises and sets in your eyes for me, you’ll be that one prayer I’ll safely tuck away and guard jealously with all my heart.
I prepared to write you three paragraphs today. You know, today being the third day of the month and all. Just now though, writing you letters hurts more than I’d originally imagined. So I’ll find myself friends to write and swap love letters with in preparation for that fourteenth day we had been dreaming about all the while. And on that day, in my loneliness, I’ll drink to us and hope against hope that the person I’ll meet next will be better than the promise of you.
Until then, I remain yours truly
Josh O. Agaba
“Unsaid words leave scars” ~ Unknown