Beautiful 

​Beautiful,

It’s 3 O’clock in the morning and I can’t help but linger longer all over the need that I have for you. This loud and ferocious roar of my heart, every time I miss you, always reminds me of the unforgiving and delicious scent of your lips on mine.

I’m afraid to dream because I don’t know whether I’ll see your large smile beside me when I wake, or if I do, I’m afraid and I worry that it could be the worst hullucination ever.

So, I wear your smile and arm myself with the reflection of it like a garter in my dreams lest I be damned to wake up to the absence of your sweet whispers.

Every night is a tad darker now that you’re gone and not here, there’s nothing in this room that played with the light so well like your eyes. Every thing else is blunt. Always reflecting bits of your sunshine and warming me down deep in my soul.

Most nights I hear you say, “I feel alright” just to wake up to the boring swish of the fan. Never did I think I’d miss your soft snores so bad.

The water runs and all I can think about is how your giggles always perfectly bounced off the marble, leaving me woke in all the right places.

Is it just me or does the splash of the water sound so beautiful and heavenly when you’re in the shower? 

I had better not lose my mind until I get that old feeling I always got when you walked through that door and straight into my waiting arms. Wake me up from this bad dream and remind me of what it means to love dangerously. 

Yours truly,

J

Let’s Marvin Gaye

Hello babe,

How are you doing this very beautiful day? The sun is quite soothingly if not scaldingly hot. But who cares? Well, we are a few hours away from our grand birthday and I can’t wait to keep my hands all over you. That’s quite the thought!

Enter in, Meghan Trainor. I know how much her voice drives you awesomely crazy. Have you heard her new song with Charlie Puth? You should, or better yet we’ll sing it together. All night, tonight.

“Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on. You got the healing that I want. And just like they say it in the song, until dawn, let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on.”

I have my guitar strapped on tight. We’ll sing all your favourite songs. I can’t wait to sing to you in the shower about how I’ll love you like I’m gonna lose you. We’re not promised tomorrow. I’ll wait for you to make me scream mercy mercy, All night and bits more of tomorrow.

There’s that thing in your eyes that pulls me closer. I know I’m in trouble but I’d rather  be in trouble with you. All candles have been lit. Babe, from this day on, you’ll never be alone.

Love,
J

Blinding You

You’ve had me at Hello for a really really long time. I dream of nothing less as I hope for everything more.

I started to wonder though, how long are you planning on keeping me captive? As I thought about how much I’d rather be captivated by you, I realized that that kind of time can only be estimated by who you might vote for. Who are you planning to vote for? (I’m kidding.)

A vendor in town asked me why I wasn’t smiling. I couldn’t tell him how long it has been since I last saw you. He took my frown for sadness, he gladly declared I had no love. He recommended I visit FACO. I was taken aback and I smiled instead, thinking about what you’d have done had it been you.

Most of me has been blinded by your intoxicatingly happy and loving self, I wonder  if I have even blinded you at all, or what about me blinds and binds you to me.

Maybe I after all might need that much recommended trip to FACO, who knows?

Love
J

Nirvana

Nirvana is where this frail body finds itself every time it gets wrapped up in the soft and enduring warm embrace of you.

You know, I’m a superman thanks to you, you kissed away my problems when I went insane. I’m getting drunk off listening to this song as I scroll through all our selfies.

Come on, let’s dance in the rain. Give not a care, we’ll have each other to shiver against. Snuggle into me, let the waves of this reggae ballad ride off into the sunset with the wind. Let me ride this out with you till the sky turns gray.

I will be there when you need someone to run with
I will be there when you need someone to dance with
I’m your lover till the sky turn gray girl
Cause you’re beautiful baby

Love,
J

Take me

Love,

I’ve always loved the tasks you generously hand me. Learning to live without you has been the hardest, longest and most soul breaking task ever.

I toss around every night in my lonely bed, wondering if there are better words I could use for you to feel just how much every cell in my body misses your voice. When my body is in a rage, your soft touch calms all that is. What am I to do if you’re not here?

We’d promised each other just how much we won’t get tired of calling each other every minute of every single day. And now, here we are. You’re always tired, I can’t seem to see why I get this whole time zone concept mixed up every time either.

Tell me; is there a better way to say I do really miss you? Is there a better way I can say, I love you? I can barely show you how. Maybe I could, if you’d take all of me.

Love,

J

Red My Heart

Every second of all the past forty eight hours has been the longest for me. Knowing all too well, that I couldn’t write to you. It has now become so addictive, it leaves a burning strain across my heart that this hurt brews.

I’d always dreamt of a love, that bloomed slower than the brightest of flowers. Whose taste lingered longer than honey. And whose warmth was chilling and left goosebumps in its wake every time it was experienced.

Cupid had one job. I love that he failed. We always meet people who for a second make the bubble you’re in with them, so liveable a place. When the bubble bursts, reality sets in and it is never a pleasant sight afterward.

With you, I love that there is no bubble. You’re as raw a love any mukiga man would die for. So, red my heart and I’ll bleed my thoughts to you, of you in ink.

Love,
J

Photo: pexels.com

More Of You

I always start my letters in the funniest of ways. How are you today? Did I ever tell you, you are the one flower I know will never wither? I should have told you this a little earlier.

When I was younger, someone I knew all too well incessantly kidnapped me every so often. Dragged me through the cold and darkening evenings to a hill where we lay in anticipation of what tomorrow would hold, only to behold the stars and think. She’d talk almost unceasingly about this star and that and later fall silent. All we’d hear for hours on end, were our breathing and beating hearts. We watched the stars and it made no sense at the beginning. So we lay, quiet after all words had been said and we’d fantasize. What a mind clearing time it was.

I came today with the heaviest of hearts. For a couple of days you’ve been away, I missed you to heaven and back. Spending the day, today, with you. I was joyful. You know like the saying goes, joy is peace rejoicing and peace is Joy resting. I couldn’t help but notice how distant you were. Is this just my imagination? Tell me, what is on your mind. I want that smile back on you. It is my ever exceeding reward for loving you. I’d like to show you what it means to watch the stars with the star of your life. I promise it will help clear your mind. And it’ll be just another reason for me to watch you my star.

Please, will you get away with me? It is only a few days away to that day and I heard Kabale feels much better now than when we last saw it. It’s hilly you know, the air not as polluted either. I remember just how much you really loved it. Let’s get away, and chase or try to catch the sunset with our hands, or draw the clouds with our breath. And maybe just maybe, the cloud over your heart will melt away with time. Will you sail away with me to the untapped bossom of your innocence?

Loving you always

J

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In The Company Of. . .

In the company of. . .

Love; on days like these when I wake up and feel like a poorly written song. When nothing can pull me out, I’m just as sure your warmth will be with me. It doesn’t matter how far apart we may be, the scent of your warmth is always a comfort.

Hope; none of us has had it easy. But you are the beacon of hope that strikes me so hard in all the relevant places whenever I want or feel like giving up. How can your single smile be the light at the end of the tunnel (bad day) that I’ll be looking forward to? Thinking of you smiling is just as enough to warm me on a cold day.

Faith; I’ve had trouble trusting. Most times, people choose trust as the one thing they need to lose so fast and fight to get back. But you my flower, have made me trust again. The faith you have in life overwhelms the senses of me. I have no choice but to learn to forgive and actually forget all the ugly past I held onto helplessly.

Darling in the company of you, are brighter smiles, stronger faith, brighter sunsets and dimmer sunrises. Restless nights and keeping my hands off you is hardwork. Don’t feel shy now, we’re still young. Let’s be foolish and stupidly in love together. Draw closer now, let me hold you and feel your breath mix in with your captivating scent. Truth be told, I’ve fallen hard, it scares me but I know I’ll be fine if it scares you too.

“Can I tuck you in every night
I want to rise to your face each morning
Tell me what I can do now, to keep you here.
My sunshine – whenever I tremble
I know you’ll reach out and hold me still
What will happen to me when you’re not here?
Stay away from me not
All you leave is your scent on these sheets
Nothing is as painful as feeling only a whiff of your loveliness
Can I be your last kiss?
Can I be your last hug – maybe?” ~ Her

Love,
J

Sold Out

Dear you,

I’m always writing. You hate it sometimes, it robs us of more time we could use to sneak away into the abyss of our intertwined hearts. But lately, I love that you don’t mind anymore. I’m pretty sure you’d never read any of the stuff I write.

I could scream every word known to man but nothing can ever compete with the fact that ‘YOU’ frightens me. I need to understand why when I hold you, I become weak at the taste of what we could create together. My heart strains to taste the beauty that my ears are treated to whenever you whisper. My inner being is burned out at your altar of selflessness, I’m as sold out to you as a lamb ready for sacrifice. But you still see through it all and choose to hold onto me like I’m the anchor your mama told you to never let go of.

I remember not so long ago, someone I knew then, loved me like as if I had a bounty on my head that I didn’t know of. Trying to make me feel small any chance they got. But you, you smile at me with your beautiful and watery eyes every night, kiss away all my scars past.

Last night you, you held my hand and gaze. For a minute I thought you were really going to walk out on me. I shouldn’t have written about us and published the stories for the whole world to see (I thought you’d never know anyway). Then you surprised me, by reciting my letters one by one. It was so beautiful to watch you break down, laugh and shake from all the pleasure you got from watching my very stunned self.

If this isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

Yours in love
J

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